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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27269923">Hide and Seek</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/forest_granny/pseuds/forest_granny'>forest_granny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tokyo Babylon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:47:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27269923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/forest_granny/pseuds/forest_granny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Subaru’s chest hurts as if Seishirou plunged his hand into his chest instead of Hokuto’s.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sakurazuka Seishirou/Sumeragi Subaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hide and Seek</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Subaru’s chest hurts as if Seishirou plunged his hand into his chest instead of Hokuto’s. If Subaru had been less weak, less naive, maybe he wouldn’t be hurting at all. He doubts that he would have ever been able to win the bet, but he would be dead instead of Hokuto. Wouldn’t that be enough? </p>
<p>Seishirou had given him a year to convince the man not to sacrifice Subaru to the Sakurazukamori, and it had worked, in a way. Not that it mattered. Seishirou spared Subaru, but took Hokuto away. His precious twin, the other side of the same coin. Seishirou might as well have taken his life. </p>
<p>Subaru stared at his cast. Seishirou had broken his arm, and it itched beneath the cast constantly. He didn’t bother to try and scratch it. </p>
<p>For days Subaru had felt a pressure closing around his throat and an itch crawling along his whole body, concentrating on his broken arm and the backs of his hands. The death of his sister loomed all around Subaru and soon it would concentrate in the center of his chest, burrowing deep. It would never uncoil itself and the feeling would fester.</p>
<p>When Seishirou had broken his arm it was swift. He held Subaru’s wrist almost gently and then applying pressure, his bone had snapped like a twig. It had hurt, but not as much as what it had meant. Not as much as seeing the blank look in Seishirou’s eyes. </p>
<p>And that look, as much as it makes his throat close up and his stomach churn, created a pain that rivaled how Subaru felt by his twin’s murder.</p>
<p>He felt ashamed. </p>
<p>He loved his sister.</p>
<p>But, in the past year he had, little by little, started to love Seishirou. Not only had Subaru lost his sister forever, the second half of his soul, but he had lost Seishirou, not his other half, but an extra piece that might have fit perfectly with him one day.</p>
<p>It was horrible, he knew. If he had tried to explain this to his grandmother, anyone in his clan, or anyone period, they would all think that he was insane. Perhaps he was. Feeling what he did for the murderer of his sister. What an unimaginable thing.</p>
<p>Subaru shifted on his feet. Hokuto’s funeral ceremony had finished just a couple hours ago, no body would be put to rest. No ashes to be kept. The Sakurazukamori had consumed her body, leaving no trace behind. </p>
<p>Soon, perhaps in a couple of days, Subaru and a few select items that belonged to Hokuto would be the only indication that Hokuto had lived. Their grandmother would have all of Hokuto’s belongings from her apartment packed and sent to Kyoto. She would sort through what was sent, and pieces of Hokuto’s life would be kept, donated or thrown away. Subaru should have been helping, with the funeral, and with the apartment, but the energy to do so was no where to be found and he suspected that it would be lost for awhile yet.</p>
<p>He had already moved back to Kyoto, at his grandmother’s insistence, not that it had taken much convincing. Little had needed to be prepared for his stay, he had clothing at the Sumeragi compound already and toiletries were easy enough to buy. His apartment in Tokyo was to be left untouched for the moment. Most of his items that held sentimental value had stayed in Hokuto’s apartment anyway. Those items would be packed away with all of Hokuto’s things when they were sent to Kyoto.</p>
<p>Hokuto had loved Tokyo. She had loved attending Clamp Academy with its bright personalities and endless possibilities. She had been marvelous in academics, made friends at the drop of a hat and had been admired for her fashion knowledge. Hokuto would give advice on outfits and spruce up anyone’s look who asked. She had favored bright and bold colors, never wanting to blend in with a crowd. Although Subaru was never one for fashion he was more than happy to let Hokuto explore men’s fashion with him as a walking mannequin. </p>
<p>Hokuto had dreams and ambitions outside of the clan, and with such low levels of spiritual power she was under no obligation to participate in that aspect of the family business. One day, inevitably, the twins would have parted. Most of the reason that Subaru went to Tokyo was to spend as much time with his sister as he could before that day.</p>
<p>Of course, Subaru had dreamt of becoming a Zookeeper, but it really was just a dream. He was the Sumeragi Clan’s strongest spiritual user in generations and was the next head of the family. As much as he craved to have a life outside of the clan, in reality it had an almost non-existent possibility of happening. He had given it a try. Subaru had attended Clamp Academy with his sister, but had his hands full with jobs for the clan and he had made no effort to refuse the ones handed to him. Gradually, keeping up with his studies became more and more strenuous. Even if the deal with Seishirou had not occurred, his Zookeeping dream would have ended just the same.</p>
<p>Hokuto must have known the pressure that Subaru felt, she was an observant young woman after all. There was no need for her to leave Kyoto to work towards her goals, but she was a good sister, a wonderful sister. She decided that Subaru needed space. A little room to grow. To dream. To come to terms with the cards that life had dealt him. So Hokuto had convinced her grandmother that Clamp Academy was the only school for her and that Subaru had to come with her. He wouldn’t be neglecting duties, she had insisted at the time, there were plenty of jobs in Tokyo to attend to after all. In any case Kyoto was just a train ride away. </p>
<p>It was as easy as breathing for Hokuto to settle down and fit in, she was always able to adapt. Unfortunately Subaru was the opposite. Hokuto was like the air, and Subaru like the earth. That was never a problem though, they were twins for a reason. Hokuto would pick up all of Subaru’s slack just as he would hers. They were two halves of a whole..</p>
<p>However, that was also why Hokuto had encouraged the connection between Subaru and Seishirou. Of course she was cautious, a man in his mid twenties wanting to hang around a teenager? The bulk of Seishirou’s attention was for Subaru, it was unusual, but she thought it could be a good thing. Any negative possibilities she could keep an eye on and deal with.</p>
<p>The potential benefits though. </p>
<p>Subaru had always been a bit shy and he had always relied on Hokuto in social situations. A growing relationship  with a person who exuded confidence and had a strong drive, if his age and career said anything about that, could only be a good thing. In addition Seishirou’s almost single minded focus on Subaru could only raise Subaru’s confidence, with some embarrassment for Subaru and a lot of entertainment for Hokuto. </p>
<p>Subaru could only imagine all these things that Hokuto had thought of the past year of their life. He knew from the start that Hokuto had readily encouraged the contact between Seishirou and himself, hoping that it would be good for Subaru.</p>
<p>He finally started moving through the halls of the Sumeragi compound. </p>
<p>There would be no jobs until his arm had healed and he doubted that his grandmother would let him out of her eyes until she was in the grave.</p>
<p>He stopped and winced.</p>
<p>In the grave.</p>
<p>He lifted his bare hand, there was no longer a need to wear gloves, and he glanced at the back of his hand. The pentagram stood out against his pale skin. The lack of sun had not helped to blend the sharp red to his complexion. It looked fresh, as if it had just stopped bleeding and the excess blood had been wiped away. There was little to no chance that it would heal any further.</p>
<p>He sighed and continued to amble through the halls, keeping his arm in the sling from jostling too much. The compound had seemed endless to him as a child. Hokuto and Subaru used to play games in these halls. Hide and seek had always been unfair; too many good places to hide and not enough time in the day to look at each spot. </p>
<p>Subaru moved towards the back rooms, they were only used when multiple guests were to spend the night. They were dusty and a bit musty, in need of a good airing out. He entered one of these rooms at random, and proceeded towards the closet that held the futon. There was always some extra room, for extra blankets in winter or for guests to place their luggage. He shifted his way inside, sliding down to lean against the futon. He slid the door closed, and tipped his head as far back as it could go before finding the soft mass of the futon. </p>
<p>His arm was still itchy in the cast. The doctor had suggested getting a thin wooden dowl to scratch the inside if it was absolutely necessary. Not much seemed absolutely necessary at the moment and he doubted that would change soon. He released a sigh and closed his eyes.</p>
<p>No one was going to be looking for him for the rest of the day. His grandmother had business that needed to be taken care of and the rest of the clan was steadfastly giving him ample amounts of space. He could stay here and not worry about anyone finding him. If he were playing hide and seek as a child that would have been a good thing. Even though the seeker was at a greater disadvantage, hiding had always given him butterflies in his stomach. The idea that he would be caught and found, would produce the fluttering.</p>
<p>There was no nervousness in his stomach now. Hokuto would not be looking for him any longer. </p>
<p>He shifted slightly and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. The roughness of the pentagram starkly different from the gloves he used to wear so religiously. </p>
<p>The petagrams to mark the Sakurazukamori’s prey. What a pathetic piece of prey he must be, to not be eaten, not even be killed, but released back into the world.</p>
<p>Subura’s eyebrows furrowed together. He opened his eyes and, although he could see very little in the dark of the closet, brought his hand down from his brow and watched the back of his hand as he placed it on his knee. </p>
<p>Seishirou wouldn’t be looking for him either, not even to hunt him down. He never really did look for him in the first place. </p>
<p>Subaru had initiated the first meeting under the Sakurazukamori, their second meeting was a coincidence and the rest of the meetings were part of the one year bargain, none of which Subaru would count as honestly seeking his presence. </p>
<p>Hokuto had always been the one who was better at looking for things, able the sift through thrift shops and boutiques for the most fashionable pieces with the best prices. She could always find him in the crowded subways of Tokyo when he had arrived back from a job. She had even been able to find him, more often than not, in the sprawling compound before the sun had set. </p>
<p>Maybe it was time for Subaru to do some seeking of his own. He knew exactly what he should do when he found Seishirou, but he wasn’t sure what he would do. </p>
<p>Subaru closed his eyes one more time and relaxed fully against the folded up futon. He would surely wake up with sore muscles and a crick in his neck, but he breathed in and out and gradually fell into an uneasy sleep.</p>
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